Here were some titles for my book that I really liked but was advised strongly not to use.

The Girl with No Tattoo

When Your Boyfriend Fits into Your Jeans and other Atrocities

The Book That Was Never a Blog

Always Wear Flats and Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by Step How-to Guide for Avoiding Getting Murdered

Harry Potter Secret Book #8

Sometimes You Just Have to Put on Lip Gloss and Pretend to Be Psyched

I Want Dirk Nowitzki to Host Saturday Night Live So Much That I’m Making It the Title of My Book

Barf Me to Death and Other Things I’ve Been Known to Say

The Last Mango in Paris (this would work best if “Mango” were the cheeky nickname for an Indian woman, and if I’d spent any time in Paris)

So You’ve Finished Chelsea Handler’s Book, Now What?

Deep Dish Pizza in Kabul (a touching novel about a brave girl enjoying Chicago-style pizza in secret Taliban-ruled Afghanistan

There Has Ceased to Be a Difference Between My Awake Clothes and My Asleep Clothes

I Don’t Know How She Does It, But I Suspect She Gets Help from Illegal Immigrants